What the Hell Read online

  I caught the top of his head, searing his skull and delivering to my ears the sweetest cry of pain I had ever heard as he disappeared into the closing portal. The section of the house I had hit exploded as if hit by a missile with a particularly nasty payload. Half of the home was now completely obliterated, with huge chunks rocketing toward the sky and forest.

  I lowered myself onto the second story landing, bringing my wings in to tuck around me like a cape.

  I stepped down the hall and to the room where my armor had flown from. I touched the doorknob, which melted in an instant like ice cream held up to a welder’s flame, and noticed a pulsing aura wafting off me.

  Closing my eyes, I took in a breath, relieved to feel my lung had healed, and focused on my aura. There was a sensation of something being retracted into my skin, and I opened my eyes to see my aura was gone. I turned and looked down the hallway, surprised that where I had stepped and the ceiling above were coated with heavenflame.

  Pushing through the door, I stepped to where the bed had been and reached down to grab my trench coat and beanie. I brought the beanie up to my head, my celestial helm disappearing just as I thought it would, only to reappear after the beanie was slid in place.

  Next, I put my arms in the trench coat, marveling as the armor knew what was doing and reacted accordingly, allowing me to slip on my coat before manifesting again. Even the wings seemed to arc up and over the collar and back down again rather than punching through the material.

  I turned to walk out, but I noticed something else was in the chest. I reached down and saw the nail of Christ. It was in a tight corner where it could be easily missed if one didn’t look closely enough.

  With a quick focus of mind, it flew up into my hand and I reached for my inner chest pocket, once again impressed that the chest armor vanished as I slid the nail into my coat.

  Bringing my hand out, the armor reappeared and my breath was momentarily taken away as I stared down at the cross I had made with Da’s blood and ashes. My fingers gingerly glided over it, feeling its significance and making me smile in remembrance of my friend.

  My friend.

  “Joey!” I shouted as I ran to the back of the house and leaped into the sky, unfurling my wings.

  The wind whistled around me, and I was thankful for the angelic helmet protecting my ears.

  I oriented to where I knew the Hummer had been originally parked based on the map app, and flapped my wings with all my might.

  Within a minute I had arrived, and saw Ludvig and Magni loading everyone up in a hurry.

  I dove downward, extending my wings as I neared the ground.

  Magni gasped, falling on his butt while Ludvig pulled out a handgun and pointed it toward me.

  I absorbed my armor, retracted my wings, and I was left standing in my usual attire, beanie and all.

  “John?” Ludvig asked, lowering the weapon before holstering it again.

  “Yeah,” I answered as I looked inside where Depweg was apparently awake. He was grasping Joey by the shoulders and weeping into his neck as his body trembled.

  “No! No, Joey!” Depweg cried out between heart-wrenching sobs.

  Looking at the body, something worse came to mind, casting the rest of the remaining joy I had in my life into complete darkness like an eclipse: he was probably in Hell.

  Magni got to his feet, and the three of us stared at the broken Depweg.

  “Get in,” Ludvig commanded his apprentice in a soft tone.

  Magni did as instructed, climbing into the front seat. I stepped to the Hummer and saw Hayley was still unconscious. I looked in the back and saw Locke was curled around the turret, also out cold.

  Seeing that there was no room, I looked at Ludvig and said, “Take them to Doc’s. I’ll let him know you are coming, and meet you there.”

  Ludvig nodded his head somberly, and I shut the back door. I admired his professionalism and silently appreciated his methodical approach to missions. He had risked his and his apprentice’s lives to take out the warlocks, disguise themselves in their robes, and attempt to rescue his friends. Those were qualities I could appreciate.

  I watched as the Hummer took off, my face pulled down in a frown that felt as if weights had been attached to the corners of my lips.

  We had gotten our asses kicked, and Joey had paid the ultimate price.

  The image of Depweg pleading with Ulric to take Joey’s spot sprang to mind, shattering my heart further.

  “I’m scared,” Joey had said right before Ulric’s hand had burst through his chest.

  I dropped to my knees, slammed my fists on the ground, and began a soundless wail. It was like I couldn’t get any breath past my throat, but the rest of my body carried on with the undeniable orders to sob.

  After several seconds of shaking and tears streaming down my face, I sucked in loudly and screamed a string of random syllables.

  “I’m scared,” rocketed throughout my mind, ricocheting off its walls as Dawson’s and Joey’s last words became overlaid on top of one another.

  I’m scared, came like a whisper inside my head.

  The prophecy was proving to be true.

  I fell over on my side, still crying out loud and long enough that my body couldn’t catch up with breath.

  “I’m sorry!” I screamed at the top of my lungs while my mouth remained affixed in a perpetual rictus of horror and sorrow. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!!! Oh God!”

  I curled up in a ball and sobbed silently then, feeling my body shudder as a pool of failure collected under my face in the form of tears.

  I had only wanted the armor so I could go save Dawson’s soul from Sheol. Had I not let his soul die while in Hell, I wouldn’t be going. I wouldn’t be going, and Joey wouldn’t have died.

  “Oh God!” I cried out as I understood once again where Joey was most likely going. “Why?! Why, why, why, WHY?!” I yelled at the universe and whoever was listening.

  “Hey, man,” a familiar voice greeted me softly. It sounded like Jeff Bridges from The Big Lebowski, and I knew immediately who it was.

  Realizing that someone was watching me, I sniffled loudly and wiped my face while pushing myself up to a seated position. I felt numb inside. Completely numb. Empty. Devoid of anything. No hate. No rage. And especially no love. Emptiness filled every corner of my soul as I turned with a whirling head to see Richard the Treant. I felt drunk as I brought my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.

  “Hey,” I answered in a flat tone as I looked up to see my tree friend walking from the side of the road toward me.

  “Everything okay, man?” Richard asked, stopping a few feet away from me but still close enough as to be friendly, as if wordlessly expressing he was there for me.

  I forced my heavy gaze to climb up his wooden body and stared with glistening eyes at my friend. He had a look of worry and concern on his face.

  “No. No, everything is not okay,” I answered his question, giving up on holding the impossible weight of my gaze up to his and letting it tumble to the ground.

  “Would you like to talk about it?” Richard asked warmly. I wanted to scream at him to go away, that I didn’t want to talk to him or anyone about what had happened. But he had asked in such a way that it melted through the ice wall I had constructed around my feelings, and the world went blurry. My mouth opened, and a squeak was all that came out as I sucked in a breath.

  “Hey, man. Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay, alright? You’re okay.”

  I looked up at him and saw how beautiful he was in the sunlight. Rays of light pierced through his leaves, and I could see how green they were.

  I stopped weeping as my gaze locked on the sun peeking through the treant’s cover.

  Richard seemed to notice and stepped to my side, allowing the full light of day to bathe me in its powerful warmth.

  I closed my eyes and lifted my chin, fully covering my face in the light, and stood up with my arms outstretched to my sides.

/>   I could see the light through my eyelids, and a single sound escaped my throat. It wasn’t quite a laugh, and not quite a sob, but somewhere in between. The perfect personification of all life, smack-dab in the middle of happiness and sorrow, daring to teeter to one side and then the other.

  “There ya go, man,” Richard urged warmly. “Let it all go and feel the world around you. Smell the flowers in the air. Listen to the wind as it dances through the grass and trees. Be one with that which is around you.”

  I stayed that way for a few minutes, just letting my mind go blank as I soaked in the sun. It was so much warmer than I remembered, and felt substantially different than that of Faerie’s star. While the Fae sun felt like a near-perfect replica of our own, nothing could compare to what I was feeling at that moment.

  “There’s a lot riding on you, man, and the world is counting on you. But always know that the world is here for you, too, alright? All you need to do is close your eyes and embrace it. No matter where you are, the world will always be there.”

  I opened my eyes and looked at the scene around me. It was beautiful, and alive.

  Richard was right; I couldn’t allow myself to fall into a pit of despair from which there was no hope of getting out. Not me. Especially when there were those that needed me.

  “Depweg,” I mouthed as I wiped my face aggressively with my hands and made up my mind.

  Looking up at my tree friend, I said, “Thank you, Richard. That’s twice you’ve helped me see the truth that was hiding in plain sight.”

  “I’m just a voice for nature, man,” he said with a heartwarming smile as he lifted his palms up and waved them around, indicating the life teeming around us.

  “I understand. Thank you,” I said as I approached the treant and somehow managed to mostly wrap my arms around him. He returned the gesture and I felt the light at the end of the tunnel.

  However, I knew that awaiting me at the end of that tunnel was the broken Depweg. He needed me now, more than ever, and my only hope was that I could be there for him in such a way that he would keep his mind.

  I broke the embrace with Richard, forcing a smile that barely touched my eyes, and nodded a few times at him.

  Then I turned and exploded into the air, manifesting my angel wings at the crest of my jump.

  I oriented on Doc Jim’s and swallowed harshly at what I knew I was going to walk into.

  Chapter 24

  As I flew, I texted Doc to apprise him of the situation, reliving the events of the mission as I typed, my thumbs dancing over the hologram screen.

  “Locke and a warden, Hayley, are unconscious with unknown injuries. Depweg is banged up, though I don’t know how badly. Please give him something for his nerves. We,” I froze, almost unable to finish typing, “lost Joey.”

  “Understood. I’m sorry for your loss,” Doc Jim responded in a surprisingly quick message.

  “I will arrive a few minutes before them.”

  “Confirm.”

  As I stared at the text, my mind tried to distract me from the horrific pain that was suffered by focusing on something normal, even mundane; the screen of my phone stayed out whenever I went to type, even if my fingers weren’t in the shape of an L.

  I shook my head, forcing myself to focus, even if it meant enduring pain.

  With my phone still out, I went down to Collin’s name and pressed the hologram.

  He picked up within one ring.

  “John? What happened?”

  “Ulric wasn’t asleep.”

  “Oh dear,” he answered. I wanted to make fun of him for saying dear, but it felt strangely right coming from his mouth. “Were there any casualties? I can’t bring up anything on my men.”

  “They’re all dead. They were tough SOBs, I’ll give them that. But Ulric was more than capable.”

  “What about from your side?” Collin asked in a professional tone that still came across as tentative.

  “One casualty,” I answered coldly, unable to say his name out loud.

  “I am very sorry to hear that, John. Did you at least get what you needed?”

  The way with which he shifted the conversation to focus on the mission completion irked me. Counting to three in my head, I reminded myself that was his job, and it was an important job, to boot.

  “Yeah,” I breathed out.

  “Oh, good,” he answered, almost as if nothing had happened.

  “Send a cleanup crew,” I suggested before quickly adding, “I gotta go. Talk later.” I hung up without waiting for a response. I was no longer able to talk to the professional man with the cold indifference to those lost. I understood it was practical, given the situation, but I couldn’t handle it right then.

  Doc Jim’s came into view after a few more minutes of flying, and I landed at the front door. I went to look for the code in my phone and noticed the latch was undone.

  Looking down, I saw the hours sign posted and understood I had never visited during normal business hours.

  I opened the door, ignoring the pin pad, and walked toward the OR.

  “Sir? Can I help you, sir?” a lispy male voice inquired aggressively. I stopped at the swinging metal doors and looked at him. He was skinny, with eyeliner and sparkling lipstick. He had a metal rainbow button affixed to one of his white crocs. “Sir, what do you think you are doing?”

  “He’s expecting me,” I answered coldly, making the receptionist take a step back with a gaping mouth. He shot a hand up to his chest while glaring at me.

  Ignoring the mortal, I pushed into the OR and saw Doc Jim preparing two tables.

  “Lock the doors. I don’t want Drew coming in and seeing what we really do for income here,” Doc Jim instructed.

  As I moved to the doors, Drew burst through, holding his hands up to his face as he pushed past me. It was almost like he was swatting at bugs around his face.

  “He just burst in here!” Drew said with an overtly feminine inflection.

  “Yes, Drew. He’s a friend. Please cancel all my appointments for the remainder of the day.”

  “Auh,” he gasped, shifting his weight and poking a hip out far to his side.

  “You heard the man,” I reinforced with a tone that did more than threaten.

  With a sassy huff, Drew scurried off to the waiting room, allowing me to lock the OR doors behind him. I could hear him pick up the phone and start dialing what I assumed were patients to cancel their appointments.

  “Have them come through the back,” Doc Jim suggested.

  “Right,” I agreed in a tired tone as I brought up my phone and began texting Depweg. I stopped, picturing how I had last seen him, hunched over Joey’s body, and selected Ludvig’s name instead.

  “Got it,” he texted back in reply.

  “What can I do?” I asked flatly, still feeling mostly empty. This day had sucked all the life from me.

  “First, you can—” Doc began, pointing at the IV stands in the corner. Then he seemed to notice me. “Um, isn’t it day? How . . . h-h-how are you, ah, here?” he stammered.

  “Long story. We can chat later. I hear them pulling up.”

  “Understood. Um, unlock the back door and help them to the tables.”

  I did as instructed and heard Ludvig squealing his brakes as he skidded the Hummer to a halt by the door. I opened the OR door wide and stepped outside to help.

  Ludvig jumped out and quickly opened up the door behind him while I did a quick leap over the Hummer and opened the back passenger door. Depweg looked comatose as he stared at nothing with glazed-over eyes. Joey’s blood covered him from head to toe. Some of it might have been his, too, I understood with apprehension.

  “I need you to snap out of it, man. Get inside and bring him with you.”

  I reached behind and easily pulled Locke from the back, accidentally hitting Depweg with one of the wizard’s feet. My were friend didn’t even seem to notice.

  “Depweg!” I shouted. He didn’t move as he stared into nothing, his mouth agap
e and snot running down his upper lip.

  I knew I’d have to come back for him, and opted to usher Locke inside first.

  Laying my wizard buddy on the metal table as gently as I could, I turned to make my way outside again. Ludvig had already placed Hayley on the other one, and Doc Jim was running an IV line.

  “What happened?” I could hear the doc ask.

  “I don’t know. We were outside,” Ludvig answered as I cleared the door and strode to the Hummer.

  Stepping to the back, I reached in and grabbed Depweg’s massive arm. He didn’t protest as I pulled him out like a ragdoll.

  Holding him upright under his armpits with his toes barely dragging the ground, I walked inside and to the back room where a bed awaited. I laid him down and put a hand on his chest.

  “I’ll be right back, buddy. Stay here, okay? Don’t do anything stupid.”

  Depweg answered by staring blankly at the ceiling. I wiped the snot off his face with my hand and then dragged my fingers across his shirt, replacing clear liquid with crimson blood.

  “Damn it,” I whispered to myself, feeling like nothing was going right this day.

  Passing through the OR again, I could see Doc Jim running a flashlight over Hayley’s eyes, which he was forcing open.

  “She has a concussion, at the very least,” he said, making me shake my head as I went outside to get Joey.

  Once outside, I reached inside the Hummer and was met with the overwhelming realization that I was alone with Joey’s lifeless corpse. It was my fault that he was dead, and the thought made me freeze in place.

  “No,” I whispered to myself, forcing my thoughts to go still. I knew what I had to do.

  I grabbed Joey and pulled him from the back seat. Blood was everywhere. I was also given a front-row seat to just how badly Ulric had mutilated him. I could see through his chest to the ground beneath as I pulled him free and carried him under his neck and the backs of his legs.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered without looking down at the body. I couldn’t bear to see him like this.

  Once inside, I kicked the back door closed and looked at the doc.