Mouth of Madness Read online

  “We’re going to get him back,” I said with a smile I tried really hard to fake convincingly as I put a hand on his shoulder. Joey responded by letting his head hang low. We both knew what we would have to do if Depweg didn’t snap back to reality.

  “At least Locke’s tracking spells are working,” Joey said with a sigh.

  I tightened my lips as he looked up at me.

  “What?”

  “He doesn’t have to use any of Depweg’s teeth to track him, man. The wolf is creating such a mess that mortals are providing all the information we need. Once we get closer, Locke can pinpoint Depweg’s exact location using a tracking spell.”

  Without another word, Joey turned his back to me and I walked closer to him, securing him in place with the buckles around his chest and thighs. I could see his eyes glistening from where my truth had cut through his heart, try as he might to hide it from me. After losing Dawson, Depweg was the only family member Joey had left. He had his friends, of course, but friendships weren’t even in the same ballpark as packmates to a were.

  I held him in place with my arms and leaped into the sky, flapping my wings at the height of my jump. Within a few minutes, we were back just underneath the cloud cover of the Mexican sky.

  2

  An alarm sounded on my phone, causing me to violently jerk out of my mind where I had painstakingly created a house of cards with thoughts and ideas. They tumbled and evaporated like fine sand in the wind.

  “What the hell is that?” I called out to Joey.

  “Your phone, dumbass,” Joey barked while he wiped his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt. He must have dozed off.

  “Huh?” I said as I moved my fingers into the opening L shape. The hologram came to life, and an alarm labeled “Dawn” flashed.

  “What was it?”

  “Sunrise. Gotta find a place to sleep.” I clicked on my Hilton app in search of a nearby branch we could rest at.

  According to my maps app, we were passing over Linares, with the nearest Hilton in Ciudad Victoria, which was around one hundred miles away. I checked the official sunrise time and noticed Locke had given me a full hour. Lilith bless that silly warlock.

  “Hold onto your butt,” I said in my best Samuel L. Jackson as I rose higher into the cloud bank and began flapping with vigor. One hour to make it a hundred miles by air should be easy, even with having to stay low enough so Joey could keep breathing or whatever. Pfft—oxygen.

  Within forty minutes, the familiar ominous tendrils of sunlight began to reach into, and swallow, the night. I gulped, prompting Joey to look over his shoulder and cock an eyebrow.

  “We aren’t going to make it, and I don’t particularly want to fall to my death while your bitch ass explodes into flames.”

  “I wouldn’t explode. I’d just ignite like an accelerant-soaked fuse.” Joey slowly reached for the buckles and I put him in a full nelson. “Nuh-uh-uh. If I burn, you burn.”

  “Not cool,” Joey relented. I let him go and picked up the pace as I watched the tentacles wave on the horizon, growing with a steady determination. I gulped with a dry mouth as the thoughts of my encounters with the dawn played through my mind.

  After fifty-five minutes, the Hilton came into view and I dive-bombed. “WhooooooHOOOOOOOO!”

  Joey yelled too, but it was more like, “AAAAAHHHHHH!” which made me giggle under my breath.

  Remembering my first foray with wings when I had landed at a hotel with Baleius, I opted to land across the street. Just before we were about to strike the ground like a lawn dart, I extended my wings and coasted pleasantly to the road. A quick check of the perimeter revealed no visible cameras.

  “Dude, sword,” Joey pointed out as he twisted his neck to look at the cold-iron, rune-covered sword that stuck out from the top of my custom trench.

  “Shit! Good call,” I said as I reached under my coat and lifted the platform that the end of the sword rested on, moved it down from the middle of my back, and clasped it to my kukri sheath at my waist. The hilt of the sword disappeared into my coat, safely out of view.

  Glancing at my phone, I saw I had three minutes left and began running toward the front doors with Joey still attached. His convenient five-foot-four frame was easily carried by my six-foot one. His driver’s license claimed him to be five-six, but then again, mine said I was like six-four or something. They really didn’t care at the DMV.

  “Hey! Let me down, God damn it!” Joey cried out in indignation as I hustled through the parking lot.

  “No time,” I responded tersely while pumping my legs. As we approached the sliding glass doors, I slowed and casually strolled into the lobby. There was one person in line that didn’t seem to speak any es-pan-ol and was arguing with the front desk associate.

  I walked up behind the person and began tapping my foot as I glanced at my watch. Two minutes until the morning light began pouring into the lobby. Joey went for the buckles and I slapped his hand away.

  “I told you: if I burn, you burn.”

  “Hurry up!” Joey cried out to the person in front of us, who turned around with an angry scowl. It was immediately replaced by a look of confusion as their eyes scanned over my anxious bearded face before falling to Joey’s angry one.

  “I’m sorry, ma’am…or sir.” I honestly couldn’t tell. Oh shit, did I stop seeing gender? I must be woke, bro. “He hasn’t eaten yet and gets grumpy when we don’t hurry the fuck up and check into our hotel room. Excuse us.”

  I pushed past the, um, patron and looked into the brown eyes of a pleasant-looking Latina. Wait, Latina? Crap, I’m not woke. I gave a sidelong glance at the person standing speechless behind us and shuddered once as I still couldn’t tell what they were.

  Turning back to the employee, I said in perfect Spanish, “Last name: Cook. First name: John. Checking in, please.” As I finished, I glanced over my shoulder to see the light inching forward into the lobby like steady floodwater.

  “Ah yes, here it is. Oh, you know you could just check in with the door key function on the Hilton app, right?” the soft-spoken Latina informed me.

  “I, ah, of course! Come along, Joey. Let us, ah, use our stupid phone and get to our room,” I said while still using Spanish.

  “I don’t know what you said but I heard my name,” Joey grumbled, annoyed.

  The associate looked between Joey and me with a screwed-up face that had lost the normal customer-centric expressions that only people in the service industry could perfect.

  “He’s only three hundred months old. They grow up so fast,” I said as I stroked Joey’s hair lovingly, much to his overwhelming delight which manifested as an animal growl.

  The associate responded with a brief, half-assed smile before confusion took control of her facial muscles again.

  “Look at the time!” I said, glancing at a bare wrist.

  I ran down one of the hallways before the associate called out, still unsure, “Elevators to your right.”

  “Gracias,” I said over my shoulder in a terrible accent.

  I course-corrected and made my way to the elevator bank, pushing the up button. Joey attempted to unbuckle himself yet again. And, yet again, I slapped his little paws away.

  On our floor, we found our room and I said to Joey, “Alright. Go in and close the curtains all the way, or—you know—I’ll die.” I opened the Hilton app on my phone and pressed the keycard icon while holding my hand close to the door. It clicked as a light turned green.

  “Got ya covered, dude,” Joey said smugly as I let him down and he slipped into the room. After some rustling, I heard him say, “Clear.”

  I put my back against the wall and then stepped into the room. As the door shut with an audible click, I froze as I noticed Joey standing by the window with an evil grin on his face. His hand was still on one of the curtains.

  “Um, dude?” I asked as my pitch shifted up to the falsetto range.

  “Gonna carry me like a baby again?” Joey asked flatly as he yanked on the
curtain for a fraction of an inch before putting it back in place. A flash of light splashed the wall next to me and I shrieked. But, you know, like a man rather than a tea kettle.

  At my manly expression of fear, Joey began laughing so hard that he had to grab his stomach and bend over, gasping for air. Then he collapsed to the ground, both hands on his abdomen as tears of mirth flowed. He could barely breathe, the fucker.

  I hadn’t eaten in a while, so I didn’t blush, but my posture read “embarrassed jackass” all the same.

  “Ha, ha, ha,” I barked with dramatic emphasis, like a kid mocking their sibling’s laugh, complete with squinted eyes. “Very funny, bone-licker.”

  Joey regained his composure and started walking past me. “Can’t take jokes? Don’t dish them, then,” Joey replied in passing as he walked into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

  I glared at the door before letting my face relax as the notion to check my phone surged. Sitting on the edge of the bed that was furthest from the window, I opened my hand and sent Locke a message, feeling the pull of the dawn as it attempted to weigh down my consciousness into subsiding below the surface. I blinked heavily as my back arched, too tired to hold myself fully upright. My hand vibrated as a lightsaber sound told me I had a message.

  Nothing new. Get some rest. I’ll keep watch and let you know what I find tonight.

  “Thank bri,” I typed out before moaning and hitting backspace. “Thanks bro,” I corrected before hitting send.

  “Ducking autocorrect,” I breathed out as I began to fall backward on the comfy bed.

  Feeling the weight of the sun on my consciousness, I passed out before my face could even hit the pillow.

  3

  I blinked awake, stretching as I did, and noticed Joey sitting up in bed watching TV. I glanced over my shoulder at the paper-thin screen as a local reporter interviewed locals about the man-beast that had terrorized the northeastern portion of Mexico. The subtitles were on, translating the Spanish-speaking locals with hilariously out of sync and grammatically incorrect English words. I really wanted to follow the story using the subtitles, but the importance of the topic of discussion was too significant to me, so I followed along with the reporters and eyewitnesses.

  “This thing, man, it, like, came outta nowhere and, like, started killing everybody across the street. It was dark, so I couldn’t really see it, but I did see that it was huge, man. Like, it had to crouch down to get through their door! Then there was, like, gunfire and stuff, man. Lots of it. Then people were screaming until it was, like, all quiet and stuff.”

  I looked over at Joey, who could extrapolate the meaning through the broken translation. A scowl etched his face like fault lines as he leaned forward. I decided to leave him alone with his thoughts and let him process the information in silence. Knowing what Depweg was doing, and then hearing about it from eyewitnesses, were two completely different things.

  Something struck me as odd while glancing back at the screen, no longer concerned with the repetition with which the reporter told the story. On a sidebar appeared the weather for the day, with temperatures ranging from midsummer sweltering to near freezing. Where the rest of the week’s weather should be predominantly shown was a series of question marks.

  “Hmph. Damn lazy weatherman,” I mumbled as I got to my feet.

  Joey continued to watch the TV as I went to the bathroom and used the free toothbrush to clean any built-up bacteria in my mouth. At least with Joey I didn’t have to worry about traveling so fast that bugs would make my teeth their final resting place. I looked at myself in the mirror and decided a quick shower to rinse off all the accumulated dirt wouldn’t hurt. I took off my clothes and stepped into the shower as I turned the water on, not caring about the temperature of the flow. The brief memory of my first shower as a mortal while in Faerie flooded my mind, and I couldn’t help but smile as water cascaded down my face.

  After shampooing my hair and beard, I began lathering up my body with the stuff from the wall-mounted soap dispenser. I was surprised for a brief moment as my hands roamed over firm abs before recalling the dull memories of Faerie. Well, I use the word “dull,” but merely because I had had a mortal brain that had retained only important moments during my six months at the Seelie Court. My vampiric mind had an eidetic memory that could recall everything I had ever experienced with complete clarity. I’d spent the last five and a half centuries with a dad bod, and it would take some time to reinforce the idea that I was now, in fact, worthy of any male fitness magazine cover. It felt almost embarrassing to have tanned skin, perfectly groomed hair (including beard), and ripped muscles with bulging veins and striations.

  I turned off the water, reached for a towel on the rack, and pulled back in disgust as I realized Joey must have showered during the day. Grabbing a clean towel, I dried off using the coarse white cotton before starting to put my clothes back on.

  Now, I hear you at home going, “Eeewww. You’re wearing the same undies?” Yes. Yes I am, because I don’t sweat and my skin doesn’t flake. So, unless my clothing is soiled from the outside world, there’s really no reason to change. Unlike you, you dirty mortal.

  As I came out of the bathroom while continuing to towel off my hair, I asked Joey, “They say anything else?”

  “Yeah. Authorities are picking up his trail as he starts on the next cartel territory.”

  “Why do they care?” I asked as I sat on the edge of the bed to look at the screen. I used the damp towel to clean off my trench using broad strokes. There was a layer of dirt covering my precious coat, and each pass of the towel exposed pristine black Faerie silk.

  “Who do you think pays them?” Joey countered.

  “Ah. Well, shit. You’re right.” I turned to look at him. “You ready, buddy?”

  Joey pressed the power button on the remote and stood up eagerly. “I’ve been ready. Don’t know how you get anything done sleeping twelve hours a day.”

  “Well, what I lose in a day, I make up with eternity.”

  “Fair enough,” Joey admitted as he clasped his backpack across his chest.

  We made our way outside and walked to find an inconspicuous place to take off from.

  Joey slowed down as his eyebrows knitted together. I stopped and turned to face him.

  “What is it, dude?”

  “How have we never been made? I mean, besides Ludvig. Stands to reason that with everything that has happened and all the shit we’ve done, someone would have said something like on the news or social media…something.”

  “Well, you see…” I began before scrunching my face and looking at the ground. “Hmm. I, ah, don’t actually know.” A queue formed in my brain, with every situation where we had left a substantial mess standing in line waiting for their turn to ask the same question: why had we never been on the news? Entire roads and acres of wooded area had been destroyed by the Shadow Court.

  “Maybe I can offer some insight, Mr. Cook,” a smooth, authoritative voice said warmly.

  “WHATTHEHELL!” I proclaimed with a grace and calm befitting royalty. With underwear that needed replacing (so yeah, forget what I said earlier about the undies), I turned to face what just had to be a government agent. A black suit encased a white dress shirt with a black tie on top. The man had more salt than pepper in his hair and pale blue eyes that were almost white. His demeanor was friendly, as was the tone in his baritone voice.

  “Forgive me for startling you—”

  “Not scared,” I interrupted lamely.

  “Of course.”

  “I’m kinda startled,” Joey admitted while squinting at the man.

  “Well, then forgive me,” the G-man continued.

  “You were explaining about our conversation that you eavesdropped on?”

  “To be fair, you did check in with your credit card on file, didn’t you? I simply waited for you to exit at sundown, and heard your conversation.” His warm smile widened as he spoke, disarming me.

  I sh
ifted on my feet and waved a hand in a gesture that said, “Out with it.”

  “We have been watching you with great interest and offering assistance where needed, behind the scenes. That mess on the highway in Houston, where an apparent explosion took out several acres of woods, was difficult to cover up.”

  “What did you say it was?”

  “Top secret satellite.”

  “Nice.”

  “I thought so,” the man said with a slight bow.

  “So, why is an American agent in Mexico? Presumably looking for a plucky pair of supes?” I asked, crossing my arms. “Very dangerous game to play.”

  “Oh, I think not,” the agent said confidently, but not in an aggressive way. “I’ve memorized your dossier and took a calculated risk that you would not attack an innocent.”

  “I don’t know, man. The American government is many things, but innocent isn’t one,” I countered.

  “Touché,” the man said while stepping forward with an extended hand. “Special Agent in Charge Baker of the FBPI.”

  As I grasped his hand and shook it with a not-too-firm, not-too-soft grip, I asked, “Let me guess, Federal Bureau of Paranormal Investigations?”

  “No one has ever accused the U.S. government of being clever when it comes to its naming conventions,” SAC Baker pointed out with a smile.

  “Or anything,” Joey muttered from behind me.

  Special Agent in Charge Baker made a show of straining to look behind me. “Joey Caruso, is that you?”

  I pivoted sideways to clear the line of sight between the two. A—a

  “Sorry about that. My huge muscles were in the way.”

  “You know,” SAC Baker started to say as he shifted his pale blue eyes back to me, “it’s not as humorous now that you have—miraculously—shed all that excess weight you used to carry. I honestly wasn’t aware that, once turned, a vampire could alter their appearance without the use of a glamour.”