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  “Oh, that is right,” Ulric said as he snapped his fingers and blurred over to me. In an instant, I was upright with my neck in his grasp, his other hand on my bicep. With a sickening tear that I felt more than heard, he ripped the rest of my arm off and tossed it through the doorway. I screamed by inhaling air before Ulric tightened his grip around my throat and cut off the flow. My left leg was next, but it didn’t seem to hurt as much as the bone shattered and muscles ripped. He moved onto my right thigh, and that was the last thing I remembered before everything went black.

  *****

  A pulsating migraine threatened to shatter my skull as my eyelids fluttered. It took several tries before they complied with my request and separated. My eyes bobbed around in their sockets as if on a gyroscope, unable to focus. My cheekbones seemed more prominent than normal in my peripheral vision.

  A thump sounded inside my head, and I dared to look inward.

  As I drifted into the control room of my mind, I saw the Puzzle Box on the ground as another thump sounded. It flew several feet into the air and landed next to the steering wheel which was manifesting before my eyes. I wasn’t telling it to form, and was petrified to realize what it meant.

  No! I cried out as I launched myself at the bouncing box. Landing on my stomach with my arms outstretched, I was horrified to see my body was transparent.

  As my fingers wrapped around the box, the configuration began changing. Pieces moved, and nothing I could do made them stop. I pressed my thumbs so hard against the moving plate on top that I was sure I could have pressed through titanium.

  There was a hiss, and the box separated into two identical pieces, with the topmost portion lifting and then turning forty-five degrees. After an anxiety-inducing second when I thought it might have stopped, the box closed in on itself, forming a new configuration, and the light in my mind darkened like an eclipse.

  NO! I screamed as Baleius stepped from a murky corner of my mind. His eyes glowed a fierce crimson and his skin was as black as midnight.

  Hello, John.

  Not now, man. Not now . . . I groaned as I lowered my head on my arms and just lay on the ground.

  You want me freed.

  I lifted my head with a quizzical look. No, I fucking don’t.

  Then why else am I here? His gaze went to the windows of my eyes and stepped to look out of them. A moment later, after his assessment had been made, he pulled back to look at me with a shit-eating grin. Oh, I see. You need me to kill the child for you.

  No! Don’t do it! Please! I cried out while pushing my face into the crook of my elbow. I could see the floor through my arm.

  I won’t.

  After his words set in, I pushed myself up to my knees, surprised that even my mental projection was fatigued, and feebly crawled to the couch. I climbed into the seat and looked at Baleius. My face asked the question that was on my mind.

  You put me away in that damn box, and now call only when you need something.

  I didn’t call you! I blurted out.

  Fine. Lie to yourself, puny man. We both know the truth.

  What truth?! I asked on the verge of hyperventilating. I didn’t know if it was because he was right or not.

  I would not be here if you hadn’t let me out, Baleius told me as he moved to sit on the couch next to me. But I will not kill that child for you.

  I looked at him with an unsteady head, desperately wanting to ask why, but afraid that would mean I was admitting he was right.

  You will kill the girl. You will sink your teeth into her tender flesh and drain her of the precious blood you so desperately need. And you will do so on your own. I will not aid in your actions.

  I won’t . . . I breathed as I shook my head before placing my face in my palms. My head hurt so intensely that it was hard to think.

  Then you will go insane, and I will gain complete control over your body, Baleius dropped the bombshell on me while wearing a shit-eating grin. After that, I will place what’s left of you in that damn box. He injected venom into his words as he spit them out while a finger pointed to the Lament Configuration on the floor.

  No. NO. This is MY mind. You will do as I command, I declared, trying to summon the box into my hand. It vanished from the floor, and I looked at my outstretched palm to see . . . nothing. I checked my other hand and then looked all around before I heard a chuckle coming from Baleius.

  With dismay, I raised my head to see the box in his outstretched hand. You are too weak to do anything, John. Maybe if you consume the child you might be strong enough to stop me from taking over your body. But make your decision quickly, for you are dying.

  My face scrunched up and Baleius, never losing his smile, gripped the box with four of his five fingers and pointed his index out the window of my eyes.

  I followed his finger and saw that I was hemorrhaging precious blood from my three stumps.

  While on the brink of death, and with your mind too weak to stop me, I will shove you into the box and then eat the child. I think Ulric will be delighted to learn that you will be forever locked away where madness shall be your only companion in the darkness. Perhaps he and I will rule eternity together after we defeat Samael. Or, perhaps, I will kill them all and construct a throne made from their corpses.

  God, help me, I begged as I brought my hands toward my face. I froze as I saw how thin my flesh was. Turning them over in the air, I was horrified with how easily I could see through them. I could have laid my palms over a book and read the pages without any problem. My body was turning incorporeal inside my own mind.

  Oh, it has begun. Your soul is weakening. Better make up your mind soon, John. Kill the child and regain enough strength to survive, or spend eternity in a box while I become God.

  With trembling hands, I pushed myself onto unsteady feet and began taking shuffling steps toward the steering wheel.

  That’s it, John. Do it. Kill the girl. Save yourself.

  My bottom lip quivered as a moan of pure suffering escaped my throat. What choice did I have?

  Save . . . yourself . . . Baleius purred while inching forward in his seat.

  I looked at the steering wheel with blurry eyes, and lifted my heavy arms to rest atop it.

  I shot back into my body and was alarmed to not feel the gruesome wounds. My mind flashed to images of men who recalled being so injured that they no longer felt pain as they were on the precipice of death.

  My vision was blackening around the corners as I slapped a numb hand — my only remaining limb — on the plexiglass floor and pulled myself a few inches forward.

  The child heard my movement and began to stir in her blanket. Her eyes fluttered and she turned her head in search of the sound, no longer under Ulric’s spell.

  Her cheeks were so plump and red.

  My hand slapped the floor again as I licked my cracked lips and pulled myself another few inches closer, the blood I’d spilled making it slightly easier to slide. I could hear her heart pumping precious life throughout her tiny body.

  “Please God. Please . . . forgive me. Just . . . just this once. Forgive me . . .” I grimaced deeply as I inched closer, forcing the skin on my lips to tear like old, dried leather.

  I slapped my hand down again and was vaguely aware that it looked like a bony claw with skin thinner than paper.

  The child locked beautiful blue eyes on me and then immediately slammed them shut as a piercing cry bounced off the plexiglass walls, attacking my ears from all directions. Her face grew red from exertion as veins bulged in her neck, exacerbating my thirst to the point of madness.

  “I’m sorry,” I croaked to the child, sounding more like a monster than a man.

  My hand slapped down, bony fingers touching the edge of the blanket she had been wrapped in, almost like a gift. I tried to find purchase with my fingers and pull the blanket toward me, but I was too weak to even do that.

  I pulled myself the last couple of inches to the child and lifted myself up on a shaky arm.

&nb
sp; “That’s it, John. Drink. Drink and damn your soul,” Ulric urged from somewhere miles away.

  Do it. Save yourself, Baleius purred in my ear. I bet she will taste soooo good.

  I positioned myself over the screaming, shaking five-year-old girl as Hell built an obsidian prison just for me.

  My soul was plunged into tar pits of sin as her blood flowed down my throat. Baleius was wrong, though. Her blood did not taste good to me. It tasted of defeat and shame. It tasted of stolen innocence. Of an entire family’s unimaginable sorrow. Of damnation.

  I was a man adrift in the ocean, baking under the sweltering sun and desperate for a sip of water, making the conscious decision to swallow a mouthful of the sea even though it meant my doom. Even as I swallowed her innocence, I was perfectly aware of my heart dying and becoming as black as the obsidian prison waiting for me in Hell. I’d thought I had already lost my humanity by choosing to lie to my friends about Dawson. How naive I had been, and how I longed for that to be the peak of my problems again. Words. Simple words, instead of . . . this.

  My wounds closed, but my limbs did not grow back. Ulric knew what he was doing when he placed the small child in my cell. The girl, whose heart began to flutter erratically, provided just enough sustenance to keep me from death.

  As my body hydrated, a tear rolled down my nose and slid onto the girl’s paling skin. It was in sardonic symbolism that the moisture I had stolen from her now rested atop her face, freed from my eye.

  Then it was over. The beating of her heart ceased, and with it, my soul became damned again. I thought about my parents watching me from Heaven. I thought about how my mother must be shielding her eyes by cradling her face in my father’s neck as she cried out in disbelief. I imagined my father telling her not to look at the monster who had murdered an innocent child to save his own life.

  I could try to convince myself that it had been to save the world, but that would be lying. I had done it to save myself. I had done it to live long enough to punish Ulric. I had done it to plunge my teeth into Lucifer’s neck and watch as the life left his eyes. They would pay dearly for what they had made me do. Oh yes . . . they would pay.

  The door to the cell opened and Ulric stepped in with the widest grin I had ever seen on his face. He was beyond pleased with himself at his triumph over me.

  I lifted my face from the girl’s corpse and bared crimson teeth at my maker . . . who was holding another blanket.

  My breath caught in my throat as I dared not imagine what was in his arms.

  A tiny hand reached out to ungracefully touch Ulric’s chin. He looked down at the thing in his arms, never losing his smile, and cooed, “Who is a good baby boy? Is it you? I think it is you. Who is never going to get to grow up? Is it still you?” His voice went from playful to as cold as ice floating in the deepest, darkest reaches of space. “Let us find out, shall we?” The baby started to cry at the change in tone as Ulric stepped forward.

  “No! Please!” I begged as sobs wracked my broken body.

  Mmm. I’ve always wanted to try baby, Baleius said in my ear. I could freaking hear him licking his lips as he spoke.

  Ulric walked confidently to me, and I lashed out with my hand to wrap around his ankle.

  “Oh ho! What is this? A little fight in you?” Ulric rejoiced as he effortlessly removed his ankle from my grip. I was still incredibly weak.

  “Ulric, please,” I pleaded.

  “Please? Well, alright. If you insist,” he said, delighted, as he set the baby down on the girl’s corpse. Standing back up, he looked down at me with the eyes of a predator staring at its prey, and said, “Now, if you hurry up, you can eat the rest of the family. Just as I promised. They are sitting just there.” He pointed, and I followed his finger to land in the shadows, where I could see figures in the darkness. As best as I could tell, they were seated, probably tied, and were being forced to watch as I ate their children. Having them pointed out, I could now recognize their muffled cries. The larger of the figures, presumably the father, struggled against the ties that kept him bound in place.

  “NOOOOO!” I bawled as I buried my face in the blanket wrapped around the now cold, pale girl with blue lips.

  “Oh yes, John. But do not worry. Their pain will only last as long as you allow it to go on. Finish your meal, and I will bring them in for dessert. How does that sound?” He clapped his hands together and rubbed his palms eagerly as he spoke.

  “Ulric,” I started with a flat, icy voice as I craned my neck to look up at him, “You’re going to pay for this. I promise.”

  “Tsk, tsk, tsk. Better eat your meal before it gets cold, child,” Ulric said as he turned to leave, closing the door behind him.

  Do it, John. You’ve already come this far. In for a penny, in for a pound, as they say, Baleius chimed in.

  You will regret this, Baleius, I issued my warning as I wrapped my arm around the baby and brought him in close. I willed Mjolnir into my one hand and rolled onto my back, thrusting the hammer toward the ceiling. A bolt of lightning crashed through the roof of the house we had apparently been in, tearing through wood and the industrial grade plastic of my cell, and I willed a slipstream to yank me and the baby that was still in my arm into the night sky.

  What are you doing?! Baleius shouted as he began wrestling with me for control over the wheel in my mind.

  The image of Da standing on the glass top of water inside my mind flashed. I watched as a perfect copy of him that was reflected below his feet was sucked upward. I think I understood what he was trying to say.

  I looked inward at my doppelgänger and issued a vicious warning. You will help me from now on by doing exactly what I say. If you don’t, or if I think even for the slightest moment you might be trying to manipulate me, I will place you back in that box and find a place to sleep in the dirt for a few centuries. You were only in there for less than a week. Imagine hundreds of years of darkness, Baleius. Do. You. Understand. Me?

  Baleius felt the impact of my words and comprehended exactly what I had said. He took a step back and dropped to the couch with both hands up in placation.

  You work for me now, got it? I barked through my fanged teeth as white energy plumed from my sockets, my soul no longer transparent.

  Baleius, with eyes that were testing how far they could bulge, nodded slowly.

  Good, I said as I waved a hand at him. One moment, he was sitting comfortably on the couch. The next, he was in stocks, with only his head and hands poking through. I’ll deal with you soon enough. For now, stay put.

  I returned to my body and found a fire station below. Using the slipstream, I flew down and landed as carefully as I could, using the hammer to will just enough air downward to slow my descent. I was still too weak to create bloodwings.

  “I’ll make sure you have a good life, little buddy,” I whispered to the baby. I hadn’t noticed until I thought about it, but he had been wailing as we flew. Probably from the lightning blast, if I had to guess. But now, he stared up at me with glistening eyes. A hand reached out and grabbed at a strand of black hair that spilled down, my beanie back with the monster, Ulric. The child moved its hand to my reddish beard and tugged, kind of hard if I were being honest. “Okay, time to let go now, little dude.”

  He did after a moment, and I kissed his forehead in apology for the life I had stolen from him. If I knew Ulric, his parents were already dead.

  I moved away from the baby and knocked on the door three times with the hammer hard enough to be heard from anywhere in the building.

  I shambled off the landing with my one good hand still clutching Mjolnir, and willed another slipstream to pull me away.

  “I want to go home,” I lamented, feeling the weight of my actions clenching my heart.

  Chapter 11

  Ilanded with a splat as I crashed into the door of the mausoleum, completely naked, and with no air in my lungs. Mjolnir disappeared as I banged on the marble with my one good hand.

  A thought came to m
e, and I shifted my nubs until I was in front of the plate that covered the pin pad.

  “Shit! What was it?” I asked with twitching fingers hovering over the numbers. I dove into the information city within my head and screamed at the intern to get it. Within moments, he was handing me a picture that had a screenshot of a text message on it.

  Flying back to my body, I pressed, one, one, one, two, with shaky fingers. There was a click, and the door began sliding open.

  With heaving breaths of agitation, sorrow, and helpless fury, I threw Mjolnir to slam into the false plate on the wall, shattering it. At least the hidden doorway in the throne opened up, and I began carefully trying to descend the forty feet, step by step, as I willed the hammer back to my side.

  After approximately three steps, I barked, “FUCK THIS!” and threw my disfigured body the remainder of the way. In my weakened state, the steps really freaking hurt. I must have crossed the motion detection laser because I heard the throne begin to close back up.

  I lay in a sprawl at the base of the stairs with breaths that were coming out as rasping wheezes of frustration. Lifting my trembling hand, I barely opened the front door and spilled into the kitchen.

  My eyes shot to the mini fridge under the counter just feet away. From my peripheral vision, I could see that the living room was empty. Thank Lilith. I did not want anyone to see me lik—

  “John?” Warden Broadway asked as she stood up from my recliner, the chair having blocked her from my sight.

  “Rah!” I cried out as I opened the fridge, careful not to rip the door off the hinges. I reached in with thin fingers, only to barely touch one of the cold bags. “RAH!” I yelled again as I fell over on my side and pulled myself a foot closer, giving my hand the proximity it needed to grab a bag off the bottommost peg.

  Yanking the blood bag free, I brought it up to my mouth and bit into the side with my fangs, sucking as hard as I could with rage-filled eyes. I inhaled the contents within a second, almost choking on the container, before I dropped the empty plastic and reached for another.